I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
