It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
