my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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