I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
