Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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