I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
