The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
