I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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