I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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