She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You're a disaster
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