BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
