Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
