Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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