i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You are a genius and a whore.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
