Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
