If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
