dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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