Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
