Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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