ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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