would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
