No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
