called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i out mim tonsoeep
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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