it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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