he puts the penis in happiness.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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