I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
