My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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