When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
