One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I pour the whiskey from now on
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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