So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
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