I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
