I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
