Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You need Xanax blowdarts
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
