Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
