Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
