I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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