therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
