I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
