I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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