I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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