I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
