Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
