I'm so fucking centered right now
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
