last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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