Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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