My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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