when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
