I showed him my bush... on skype.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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