My room smells like vodka and shame
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
