I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
