So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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