All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
